So this weekend while driving to Powell Gardens, Ashlyn made me laugh a little and then think alot. We were driving down 71 Hwy, which at certain times isn't in the best part of town. There are a few stoplights on the highway in these parts of town. When we stopped at the first stoplight, I told Ashlyn a story I heard once about a women in her 20s who was shot and killed at the stoplight. She was leaving an outdoor theatre in the area, and was shot by a drive by shooter or something. Ashlyn was in the front seat, and was surprised by the story. By the time we got to the second stoplight, right when I had finished the story, she bent over in her seat (she was in the passenger seat of the car). I asked her if she was tying her shoe or something because it was taking her awhile to come back up, and she said no, just hiding. She then stayed bent over the next 3 stoplights until we were out of those neck of the woods. I saw fear for the first time in my oldest child in a long time. I wished I would have used that moment as an example of demonstrating true faith and trusting in God when she was afraid. Telling her that in times like that when uncertainty and fear over take our souls, we need to trust Him who is sovereign over our lives and in control for our good. Instead, I could only see my reflection in my child once again and knew I too wasn't trusting God in that moment. I too had held my breathe as I drove off after those stoplights, thankful that our car made it though an area that isn't such a great area of town. Oh, how I pray this next year if I homeschool Ashlyn to focus on these small moments that occur everyday between us. That our year will be full of everyday living moments we can trust in together and learn from together. I know that God has this next year already planned for our family, but as I pray about school decisions this week, I am reminded of how my role as a mother and teacher can have an eternal affect on each of my children no matter where they attend school. And if home is where Ashlyn should be for at least one year, I would treasure every moment I can with her in leading her to His cross.
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